"Champagne makes me drowsy"

Good Morning!
Today is my first day back home with air conditioning and a comfy bed. This week I started Boston Children's Theatre's Summer studios. I am dorming there because it would interfere with SSPA if my parents had to drive me every day, so, we decided that it would be a good experience to live away from home (excluding weekends) for 5 weeks. I have survived week one (narrowly, might I add). I think that I am going to break this blog down into days. It is going to be a long one, so if you don't have the time right now, I would advise that you wait to read it.

Day 1
After waking up extremely early to shower and get ready for the hour long ride to campus, we started on our journey East. We arrived around 8 and met one of my RAs, Brian. And then my parents wanted a tour of some sort. I stood awkwardly while kids stared and wondered why my parents were there. After they left, auditions began. That's a lie. After introductions from the staff, auditions began. As you might know, I am a very nervous person. Whenever I have to get up in front of people and do things, I get extremely nervous. Good thing I'm a performer, right? Everybody who sang was incredibly talented. Finally, it was my turn to go up on stage and wait my turn. Two seats away. One seat away. Time to go. I sang Out Tonight from Rent, hoping that it would result in a callback or consideration for the Wedding Singer. After everybody finished singing, we all went down to the black box an learned dance combinations from the Wedding Singer and the Drowsy Chaperone. The space was very cramped and it was difficult to learn the dances with so many people around. Somehow I was able to do so, however, and not completely suck. When the dancing was over, the numbers for Wedding Singer were called and I was not one of them. I sat in the lobby waiting to hear anything about anything for probably an hour or two. Finally, they called for the remaining girls to the black box for Drowsy callbacks. I sang for Drowsy and Mrs. Tottendale. They went well, I thought and that was pretty much the end of the day. We had orientation and introductions back at the dorms. We met each other and I found out that there are 4 Briannas at the camp. Good. I am also living with 10 German students and 2 American girls (not the dolls, literal people). Also- There's no AC.

Day 2
Our classes were chosen and assigned in accordance with our auditions and I was put into Dance, then Music, and then Acting. Every morning we go to these classes starting at 9am. I thought that I would hate dance, because I suck, but I actually rather enjoyed it. Its a really nice workout and we did a combination to Tainted Love. It was a lot of fun :] In Music, we started an ensemble piece- A Weekend in The Country from A Little Night Music. It is difficult, let me tell ya. Then in Acting we were introduced and we went around the circle saying out names, who our favorite actor/actress is, and then say something that we wouldn't normally tell anyone the first time we met them. It was pretty upsetting. The whole idea was to become comfortable with being vulnerable around each other. We had to stop part-way through due to the time. Then it was time for the cast list. Still holding a little bit of hope in my heart, and still knowing that I was not going to be in the Wedding Singer, I approached the large group of people crowded around the small bulletin board upon which our fates were posted. I scanned the Wedding Singer's list for my name and when I didn't find it there, I found it next to the label, "u/s Drowsy Chaperone." I then went off to lunch and rehearsal where we learned a few group numbers and then I went back "home" a bit upset.

Day 3
The hottest day in history. I woke up slightly discouraged and dragged myself to the shower at 6am (how disgusting) to cool myself off. Breakfast was good, then classes were good. In dance we continued with Tainted Love, in music we learned theory and sight singing, and in acting we finished our exercise and started watching Dog Day Afternoon. In the afternoon we had rehearsal and then I went back to the dorms and chilled with the Germans.

Day 4
In dance we learned some salsa stuff. I wasn't the biggest fan of this. This is because I am an awkward human being. In Music we were assigned group numbers. Everyone got duets aside from 2 groups- one of three, one of four. I was in the group of four girls. We were assigned a number from The Frogs by Stephen Sondheim- originally performed by Nathan Lane and Roger Bart. Yes, 4 women singing a song written for 2 men. It's fine. I'm sure we can do it. Acting we almost finished Dog Day Afternoon and then after lunch the entire cast of Drowsy Chaperone almost died because of the heat in the room. Fun day.

Day 5
The opening of Day 5 includes our first Master Class. This week's was dance- again, my weak point. It was completely intense (in my opinion- I mean, it might not have been that bad to people who actually dance) We learned two combinations- one from the 20s for the Drowsy people and one from the 80s for the Wedding Singer people. They were fun :] I was better at the 20s one. I think it has something to do with my Chicago experiences. After that we had rehearsal and we danced on the lawn with Brian to Toledo Surprise.

My comments
During Acting, Burgess said something about how sometimes (in fact, most times) getting what you want is not what you need. I guess that is what happened to me this week. I went to the program hoping to be cast as Holly in the Wedding Singer. I chose my audition song based on that desire, I dressed for the occasion, and I did my hair differently in the hopes that I would be cast as the crazy, young, fun person from the 80s. When I wasn't even considered at all for that show, I won't lie, it really made me sad. The Drowsy Chaperone is a fun and hilarious show and I should be honored to be a part of the small cast that it is made of. I'm learning to accept things for the way they are. I cannot make people consider me for a role they just don't believe I fit. I cannot belt higher than my abilities will take me at this time. I cannot make myself shorter. I am myself. All I can do is stand up in front of the directors and choreographers and the others and accept my life for what it is. I can only embrace what I have. I can't change what people are going to think about my talents or what they can be used for because it is not in my power to do so. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I am still not crazy about the role that I have been assigned, I am learning to accept it. I am up to the challenge and I will be learning all the way. I didn't need to be in The Wedding Singer. I needed to be in The Drowsy Chaperone. I know this because if it weren't meant to be, it would not have happened. Someone with more power and wisdom decided my fate and I can do nothing but trust that they were right. I have no doubts that if I go about this correctly, smiling, embracing, and accepting the hand that I was given, I will learn more than I have ever imagined.

Enjoy the week, friends-
I'll be back soon.
Love,
Bri