Beginnings

This week, many things are coming to a close. I have had my final BCT main stage performance, this is my final week interning, I've said goodbye to some people that realistically I may never see again, my last spring concert is on Friday... and still, new things keep coming. Yearbooks were distributed yesterday, a Disney trip is scheduled to begin next tuesday, and soon summer will be here to warm us all.

Of course, I am a very emotional person. You know that, I know that, everyone who has ever met me knows that. I feel things to the extreme. I don't know why it is like that, but I have always been that way. When I was in preschool, I cried simply because a little boy in my class was sad. I didn't want anyone to be upset. When I am surrounded by people who love and care for one another, I become attached. This company has meant a lot to me in the past year that I have been involved. No, I haven't been in 20 of their shows, no I don't know everybody on the staff, no I haven't been with them for my whole life. But I know what that feels like. Sitting backstage on Sunday was like saying goodbye to an old friend. I know, that is so cliche but that is how I felt. Saying goodbye to anything, whether it is my first show or my fifteenth, is difficult. I found myself feeling less worthy to be upset than the people who have been here for years longer. I know that I have every right to feel however it is that I would like, but I try not to take away the attention from others by being sad, myself. Coming here, though, was something that may have saved me. I came here knowing nobody. I left with people who text me first. That sounds stupid, but when somebody else contacts YOU, don't you feel good? Don't you feel special when somebody wants to talk to you out of everyone in their entire contact list? Now I'm rambling, but what I am trying to say is that I have found a group of people who love and care about me. I will never forget that, and I will always be thankful. For those of you reading this from bct: thank you for accepting me.

Yesterday's yearbook distribution was so weird. Before they gave us our books, we watched a slideshow of all the pictures that would be in the yearbook itself. A little pointless if you ask me, since we were just going to look at them all anyway. I got a few signatures. I am going to need a little more time for others to sign, though. There are many others who I want in my memories. There is something I don't understand about what went on yesterday, however. some people refused to allow their books to be signed. I understand they they will want something special from the people who they know really care about them and whatnot, but why would you deny a person the opportunity to say to you something they may have been keeping inside for... well, ever? Imagine if a person you thought hated you wanted to sign your yearbook and they had planned on writing something incredibly nice and an apology for something they may have done? I mean, high school is ending, if things are not resolved now, they never will be. I don't know. I just wish I knew what people were thinking. Maybe I just like people to sign my possessions.

This is what is written under my senior portrait in the yearbook:

" Friends,
You are beautiful. I hope you smile every day. Sing because you are happy- and do not care who is listening. Inspire others. Be the sunshine. Live to the fullest. Become the person you want to be. Make someone's day. Most of all- love everyone.
I love you all.
Love,
Brianna :] "

Thank you